After swim lessons today Jackson got out of the pool and began hopping up and down.
"Mom, I have to go to the bathroom."
"Go ahead and use the bathroom and then we need to go home."
"No. No! NO!! NOOOOOO!!!!!"
Whose demon child was this that had emerged from the depths of the neighborhood pool? Because I had brought a sweet and compliant child and watched as that child got into the pool. But this child did look vaguely familiar as his body convulsed and he barked his protests at me.
"Just go pee."
"Ohohoh, ooookaaaay!"
Mere seconds later he reappeared, apparently having practiced for the fastest whiz in the west.
"I'm sorry for yelling at you, Mom. Could you please tie my bathing suit for me?"
Either the malicious alien had been hiding Jackson in the bathroom all along (because, really, nobody can pee that fast) or Jackson's urine contains personality altering neuro-toxins which can build to destructive levels if his bladder is not emptied frequently.
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