The wonders of children

David's life line cell phone went missing tonight. He didn't go anywhere today other than work, which is literally 3 minutes from home. So we knew it had to be here, there or somewhere in between. Shortly after dinner he began looking for it as he was going to go out for awhile. He used the land line to call his cell so that he could follow the ring to its location. But first he had to find the land line. I had just used the home phone and told him exactly where to find a handset. He grumbled that there were no handsets to be seen. I rolled my eyes at his complete ineptitude. And Jackson saved the evening and produced a handset.

"Where'd you find it?"

"Uh, I saw it under Sam's bed."

Odd place but it didn't surprise me since we have a grand total of 4 handsets and a petite, blue-eyed thief so they do sometimes find their way into obscure places. But after David had gone back into work to look for his phone and still couldn't find it then we started to wonder what was going on. So I told him to take my cell phone out to the parking lot of his work and try calling it from there. That was the only place we hadn't checked so surely it had to be there. I reached into my purse to get my cell phone but it wasn't there. I had made a call from my car earlier that day so I checked for it in the van. Cue the Twilight Zone music; my phone, too, was missing. David, clutching the only remaining phone, dialed my cell number and a glorious melody floated down from above. I followed the sound up the stairs and into Jackson's bedroom where it was dark and he was sleeping. David came in behind me, turned on the light and pulled my phone along with his phone and two of the home phones out from underneath Jackson's dresser. Clara misplaces things; she does not purposely hide things as had clearly been done with these phones. Sam can be ruled out pretty easily. So we knew who the culprit was. And it was very disturbing. Jackson just doesn't do things like that. And the kid can't lie very well, either... usually. He's just always been one of those kids who you can trust not to get into trouble. He's not typically the mischievous type. But, here's the thing, he lulls you into a false sense of security then... WHAMMO!... he'll go and hide all the phones. Or eat a tube of toothpaste. Or pee in the bathroom trash. Those other two things took me by surprise, too. At least David and I have until morning to exact some form of revenge, like sewing closed the leg-holes of all his pants.