Sam caught a nasty stomach bug last week. He's got kind of wonky digestive issues so we really weren't sure at first if this was a virus, something he ate, or just Sam. When I called the school office to tell them he would be absent the woman in the office asked if he would be out due to illness or some other reason.
I said, "Illness. He has diarrhea."
"Oh," she balked, "TMA. You know. TMA." First of all, you wussy, you mean TMI as in too much information. Second, no it's not. I'm sharing this little detail hoping that you might tell me if this is something going around the school right now in order to help us determine the possible cause of Sam's illness. It's what people do even in polite conversation:
"I've had this terrible sore throat."
"Oh, my friend's daughter had that and went to the doctor who said that's been a common complaint at his office lately. Guess it's going around."
If I had wanted to really gross you out I could have told you about how I went through 6 diapers with Sam all in the span of 15 minutes because the poop just kept flowing. And at one point it was coming so fast and furious that I didn't have time to cover up his visceral spout and had to jump out of the way of the frothy brown geyser. My description would not be complete without adding that we tried to rehydrate the poor boy with fluorescent orange Pedialyte, and because his bowels had been so violently emptied, he shat orange liquid within minutes of imbibing the glowing drink. So there's your TMA you prudish clod.
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