An eye opening experience

Earlier this week David and I had a meeting at a school nearby to discuss Sam's IEP (Individual Education Program). We walked into the meeting room and were greeted by a team of therapists, educators, health care professionals and administrators who have been working on Sam's case. All 759 of these people introduced themselves...okay, really it was only 10 but what's the difference when you're talking about all those people for one little boy? I started wondering what the hell I'd been doing these past 3 years busting my ass trying to fill the role of all of these people for Sam. No wonder our schools are in financial trouble when they pay these people just to do one job. They should hire themselves a few good moms.

After the 3 hour meeting was over we were able to visit the classroom which Sam would be in next month. We were aware of the type of program Sam was being enrolled in. We knew the student-teacher ratio was low in the class due to the severity of problems most of these children had. And yet I was not prepared. I was not prepared to walk into a room full of 9 children of various disabilities and picture my little boy fitting in. Logically I realized that Sam does not walk, talk, crawl, feed himself or even sit unassisted. But that's just Sam, you know. Everything atypical about him is just typical to me. But these children.... And then it hit me: this is how others see Sam. When we enter a restaurant out in the "normal" world of walking, talking, romping, laughing children, and I wheel Sam by some unsuspecting diners, they're caught off guard. Sam's stroller does not contain their idea of what a child should look and act like. Because they do not know Sam they can't see past these differences to the beautiful child. And it probably disturbs them. Of course I've seen many children out in public with disabilities, but my reaction in the classroom was different because Sam was clearly being identified as belonging with these children. And, as his mother, I was having a hard time making that connection. Don't get me wrong; I know after spending time in the classroom with all the other children I will get to know them and see their individual personalities. Then this will all seem less intense. But that day was overwhelming.