Zim must have had a twisted sense of humor

My parents have been here this weekend helping me out with the boys while David is having one last pre-baby hurrah at the Coachella music festival. In the bathroom they're using are all sorts of interesting toiletries that they have brought with them spread out on the counter. One of these items looked particularly interesting and I asked my mom what it was.

"Oh, that's my crack cream."

Excuse me?

Sure enough the little bottle was called "Zim's Crack Cream." Dry skin can result in small cracks on hands and feet, right? And surely these were the cracks this cream was meant for. But c'mon....

"I never leave home without my crack cream."

"That Zim really knows how to fill my crack."

"My crack cream is the only thing that brings me relief."

And for some reason this cream comes in a small spray bottle, maybe for those people who have a really hard to reach crack.

My hands are happily full, thank you.

Today I was walking across Jackson's school to pick him up from the office after receiving a call that he wasn't feeling well and wanted to come home. I was carrying Sam on my hip next to my gargantuan belly, since you have to descend a flight of stairs to Jackson's school and I couldn't manage a stroller up and down those stairs. As I approached the office a woman came out and said, "Boy, you have your hands full." No kidding? What gave it away? Was it the way I precariously balanced my huge protrusion out front with the 30 lb flopping child on my hip who prefers to view the world sideways or upside down? Could you have maybe come up with something a little less obvious to comment on? How about commending me on my stellar balance?

I get this "hands full" comment from strangers so often and I can't figure out why they feel the need to make it. What's the point in stating the obvious? And despite the frequency with which I hear this I never have a clever comeback ready. I don't wish to say anything mean because I know these people aren't being rude; plus, I have lots of sarcastic replies handy I just choose not to use them. I just don't get why people feel the need to say anything at all. And they make the same comment whether I have one child or both with me. What's going to happen when this 3rd one pops out? Maybe then I'll start hearing something original or at least get some ghastly stares.

Photo fun

A few pictures for your viewing pleasure:

He's so much more fun after knocking back a few beers during our Friday night happy hour.

Wearily emerging from the jungle having escaped their captors...


... the small humans scale the wall back into suburbia.

Spring break in Arizona

So I promised an update and pictures from our Arizona trip a while ago. But Jackson got a stomach bug the last day of our trip, David got it as soon as we returned home, then our crazy busy week began and my ankles have been swollen since Tucson. Pregnancy isn't always pretty. I sit here now on the couch with my feet elevated and I plan on making good on my promise.

You can click on any of the photos for a larger view.


This was from our first stop in Yuma to see my grandparents. We've given up on all the complexly crafted special needs equipment and have opted for 2 boppy pillows to assist Sam with his sitting. This works great unless Sam happens to be sitting up in a chair and his big brother is asked to watch him for 2 seconds while you step away and Sam decides to play one of his favorite games where he throws himself forward and then pops back up again... only he didn't pop back up again. Unfortunately, this is the only Yuma picture I have since the few with my grandparents in them mysteriously disappeared from our camera.



Here's David and his mini-me at Saguaro National Park. I think they were looking for birds because really if you've seen one saguaro cactus you've seen them all.



These are the actors who played the Earp brothers and Doc Holliday in the gunfight at the OK Corral in Tombstone. Sam enjoyed himself at this show. The first loud shot was met with only a mildly annoyed grunt from Sam and then he tolerated the rest. But the best part was when one of the actors was trying to shush the audience's laughter after a mishap at his expense. Right after he said, "It wasn't that funny," Sam decided it would be a good time to give one of his very contrived everyone-else-was-laughing-so-I-want-to-join-in loud laughs to follow up... and we were sitting in the front row. Ah, life with Sam.



This is taken just outside the OK Corral.



Our future paleontologist digging for fossils at the Desert Museum in Tucson. This is a wonderful museum that is mainly outdoors and requires more than a day to fully explore all of its glory.



Our little drummer boy in his high-tech seating contraption at our hotel in Tucson. This time he's safely on the floor.



The view from the van as we drove into Sedona.



The view inside the van. Notice all the stuff crammed into the van behind Jackson? Notice how it doesn't even reach the window? We had a lot of crap back there including a jog stroller and a week's worth of food for Sam. I love my mini-van more and more each day.



After breezing through Sedona, stopping only for dinner, we ended up in Flagstaff. From here we took a day trip to Petrified Forest National Park. Here we sit in front of this desolate landscape which is part of the Painted Desert and it really made me wish we had spent more time in Sedona instead.



Most of the places we visited had some tie-in with dinosaurs, which pleased our little dino to no end.



And, finally, a family photo from our trip to the Grand Canyon. We're all laughing because of the way David has included himself in the photo he's taking. Sam's laughing because he finds the word "cheese" to be one of the funniest things ever spoken; this works out well for us during photo shoots.

Hello from Arizona

I haven't posted anything in awhile because we've been in Arizona since last weekend. Internet has been slow and sketchy at best and the few moments I have at the end of the day to post I'm too tired. But we've had many adventures and I will have plenty of pictures to post early next week once we return and settle back in.

Sound parenting advice can be found on network television

Last weekend was an exercise in parental control. What I'm trying to say is that Jackson was such a little shit that it took all the restraint in the world not to beat the crap out of him. I'm really not sure what caused his undesirable behavior as it always seemed to follow a period of fun. We'd be having a good time as a family, it would approach the time to end the fun and then Jackson's head would start spinning around as he shot lasers out of his eyes and spewed words of hatred. I was very proud of how calmly David and I handled these outbursts; though, on more than one occasion I found myself saying, "I'm walking away now," which was more of an instruction to myself to step away from the child before anything ugly and illegal went down than it was information for Jackson. During one of his more lucid moments I asked Jackson why he behaved that way and he responded that he didn't want the fun to end. Six year old logic: have a good time with mom and dad and then when it's over yell violently at them so that maybe they'll want to keep having fun with you.

After a few days of this I began wondering what we were doing wrong as parents to have raised such a spiteful little child. There are plenty of books out there that give quality advice on such behavior issues; some of these books are even sitting collecting dust on my book shelf. I considered looking through one of these books. Instead I found myself on the couch last night in front of the television thinking, "what would Supernanny do?" I haven't ever actually watched a complete episode of Supernanny but I've heard she has some pretty sound advice. I realized I didn't need her advice after watching about 10 minutes of the family featured last night. The kids were somewhat out-of-control on a daily basis but the parents were complete morons when it came to handling the behaviors. This family would go out to a restaurant and their 5 year old would stand on a chair yelling "I want desssseeeeerrrt!" This was not an isolated event and the parents didn't seem to have any consequences for this type of thing. And rather than ordering in from restaurants to avoid the disgruntled looks from the other diners, they ate out on average 3 times per week! Why put yourself through that torture? Morons. Supernanny wisely suggested they bring along some activities to keep their 2 young boys occupied during dinner. After instigating this plan with successful results the parents bowed down at Supernanny's feet extolling her unprecedented genius. This was all it took for me to realize that our family doesn't have problems. At least David and I seem to have the basic parenting skills down. We just may have to accept that sometimes Jackson's body is switched out with that of a malevolent imp who bears a striking resemblance to our sweet 6 year old.